You only ever measure in strides, tape measures are for girls
You always have a Gerber, Leatherman or similar on you.

You move house using flight cases
You never go to an event unless you’re being paid to be there
If for some reason you do pay to go to an event, by the end you end up getting to know the crew on it and helping them get out

You label everything with amusing labels
You refer to pieces of equipment like they were people with feelings

You get irritated by people who presume magical fairies make it all happen, so moving the cable runs 10 min before show time is fine

Your most prized possession is your hammock

You refer to people as "punters"

How good a pair of trousers are is proportional to the number of pockets they have

You can work no matter how drunk you are

You start thinking about bands like x factor judges, as you have seen so many they have to be really shit hot to be worth not slating

H+S is for pussies and people with nothing better to do with their life
You get irritated by a building that has stairs or steps

When you first meet someone you ask them "lampy, soundy or vidiot?"

You have NEVER paid for a packet of batteries/4 way mains block/13 amp plug/ speaker wire/ cable of any kind

You approach a bird in a pub when on tour in a foreign country- and she says her mother warned her about the boys with C R E W on their shirts, they are bad and only want sex and drink.

When somebody asks what you do you either have to spend at least half an hour answering stupid questions or put up with them saying "oh... ummm... that's... interesting.... umm...........

You meet someone famous and don’t care.
The photos on your computer are of cable runs and gen sets not family and friends

You know major cities only by their hotels and venues
You don’t buy clothes, you wear swag

You regard your work as your social life.