Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women
are from Venus"?
Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.
In-class Assignment for
Wednesday
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate
right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will
read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story.
The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep
the story coherent.
There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on
the paper.
The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two
of my English students: Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which
kind of tea she wanted.
The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much
of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile.
But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His
possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her
asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris,
leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important
things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic
bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year
ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said
into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far..."
But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of
nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay.
The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the
cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost
immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing
the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards,
Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4.
"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming
of her youth - when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the
beautiful things around her.
"Why must one lose one's innocence to
become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Little did she know, but she had less than
10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty
through congress had left Earth a
defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the
human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course
for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet.
With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical
plan.
The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The
President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor
off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which
vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans.
The President slammed his fist on the
conference table.
"We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!
Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this
mockery of literature.
My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate
adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious
neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of
Valium.
"Oh shall I have camomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
FUCKING TEA???
Oh no I'm such a air headed bimbo who reads too many Mills & Boon
novels."

Asshole.

Bitch.

Wanker.

Slut.

Get fucked.

Eat shit.

FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

Go drink some tea - whore..