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For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the
rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule
applies:-
Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something
she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry,
that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
| You make the bed |
+1 |
| You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative
pillows |
0 |
| You throw the bedspread over rumpled
sheets |
-1 |
| You leave the toilet seat up |
-5 |
| You replace the toilet paper roll when it is
empty |
0 |
| When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to
Kleenex |
-1 |
| When the Kleenex runs out you use the next
bathroom |
-2 |
| You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with
wings |
+5 |
| in the snow |
+8 |
| but return with beer |
-5 |
| and no liners |
-25 |
| You check out a suspicious noise at
night |
0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it is
nothing |
0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it is
something |
+5 |
| You pummel it with a six iron |
+10 |
| It's her cat |
-40 |
AT THE PARTY
| You stay by her side the entire
party |
0 |
| You stay by her side for a while, then
leave to chat with a College drinking buddy |
-2 |
| Named Tiffany |
-4 |
| Tiffany is a lap dancer |
-10 |
| With breast implants |
-18 |
HER BIRTHDAY
| You remember her birthday |
0 |
| You buy a card and flowers |
0 |
| You take her out to dinner |
0 |
| You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports
bar |
+1 |
| And it's all-you-can-eat
night |
-3 |
| and your face is painted the colours of your favourite
team |
-10 |
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
| Go with a pal |
0 |
| The pal is happily married |
+1 |
| The pal is single |
-7 |
| He drives a Ferrari |
-10 |
| With a personalized license plate (GR8
NBED) |
-15 |
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
| You take her to a movie |
+2 |
| You take her to a movie she
likes |
+4 |
| You take her to a movie you
hate |
+6 |
| You take her to a movie you
like |
-2 |
| It's called Death Cop 3 |
-3 |
| Which features Cyborgs that eat
humans |
-9 |
| You lied and said it was a foreign film about
orphans |
-15 |
YOUR PHYSIQUE
| You develop a noticeable pot
belly |
-15 |
| You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of
it |
+10 |
| You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose
jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts |
-30 |
| You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one
too." |
-800 |
THE BIG QUESTION
| She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding. |
-10 |
| You reply, "Where?" |
-35 |
| You reply, "No, I think it's your
ass" |
-100 |
| Any other response |
-20 |
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression |
0 |
| You listen, for over
30minutes |
+5 |
| You relate to her problem and share a similar
experience |
+50 |
| You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying
"well, what do you think I should do" |
-50 |
| You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the
TV |
+100 |
| She realizes this is because you have fallen
asleep |
-200 |
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