A man and a woman are sitting side by side at a bar getting really wasted. They are both really depressed. The man asks the woman why she's so down and she replies, "My husband left me because he said I was too kinky in bed."

"What a coincidence!" he said, "My wife just left me. She said I was too kinky in bed too." 
So they start talking and they find that they have much in common so they decide to go back to the woman's apartment to have kinky sex.

When they arrive at her apartment, she tells them she needs a few minutes so she can slip into something more comfortable.

She comes out of the bathroom with a tight, 
black, leather outfit with a whip, handcuffs, a strap-on , and a 12 inch studded dildo.

Then she hurries into the kitchen and comes out with Tabasco sauce, whipped cream and a rolling pin.

Then she notices that the man is putting his coat on, and is walking towards the door.

"What's going on?" she asks. "I thought you wanted to get kinky?" 

He turns around with his hand in his pocket and says, "I just shagged
your dog and shat in your handbag, I'm all done"